Weird, So Weird

IVF is weird. 

You essentially take a process that, for the majority of couples, is free and fun, and you make it the exact opposite: incredibly expensive and full of medications, injections, and uncomfortable procedures. 

And while you and your partner are definitely in it together, for most couples, it’s very one-sided. At every step, my husband had just one job. And it wasn’t even all that bad of a job. 

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Whereas all the major stuff, I had to do. All the ultrasounds, hormone injections, invasive procedures, etc. Those are all on me. 

The first step was to notify my nursing team on day one of my cycle so they could plan out the first procedure: egg retrieval. 

It starts with birth control – which really feels counterintuitive when you’re trying to get pregnant. But it’s only for a few days. Soon after that, I started the hormone injections. For three days, it was two injections a day and then for the final week, it was those daily injections (I was up to three a day at this point), ultrasounds, and blood draws. 

I’ve never been poked and prodded so much in my life. 

And how could I forget – the bloating. Lots. of. Bloating. You take organs typically the size of your thumb, the ovaries, that produce one, maybe two, follicles each month, and you make them the size of plums and produce as many eggs as possible. 

It’s uncomfortable, to say the least. 

I didn’t enjoy one second of it, and my only hope was that I would produce enough eggs and (hopefully) embryos to only have to do this process once to have two kiddos. And given my sister’s experience (having seven viable embryos to choose from after one egg retrieval), I was hopeful. 

The day of the egg retrieval procedure finally comes, and I am ready for it to be done. The anesthesiologist took me back. The doctor wasn’t my usual doctor, but she was incredibly nice and friendly. (Random side note: We found out we’re nearly neighbors as well!) 

I told the doc about my hopes for the procedure, and she was encouraging. “All your ultrasounds have shown great follicle growth, so hopefully this will be it,” she said.

A needle went in my arm, the world got a bit woozy, and I remember nothing else until waking up in the recovery room. Man was I tired. 

I slept the entire drive home, and then I went straight to bed. With the exception of being awake for a couple of hours here and there, I literally slept for 18 hours straight. 

Later that evening, I noticed the number 19 written on my hand. That must mean they got 19 eggs! How encouraging!

Another random side note: The egg retrieval procedure was a day after our wedding anniversary. And, unbeknownst to me until after the procedure, “adult activities” were verboten for about a week after retrieval. Would’ve been nice to know that before…