Getting Started

It’s a little early for another blog, but there’s enough going on that I thought it was warranted.

As I mentioned last week, my daily injections for egg retrieval started a little sooner than I expected. It led to some last-minute stressing, and it also led to a sleepless night.

Read more: Getting Started

I don’t really know why, given that I’ve done all this before, but I had a lot of anxiety and nervousness around the meds the night of this week’s first blog post. I only got a couple hours of sleep that night.

I don’t even think I can put into words why I was so anxious.

Maybe it was the thought of all the needles, but I’m not really scared of needles.

Or maybe it’s just the concern about going through another expensive process that could end in heartache again.

I think there’s still a big part of me that definitely wants to be a mom but, at the same time, is also terrified to be a mom.

I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again, but IVF comes with A LOT of mixed emotions.

Whatever the cause, it wasn’t a pleasant night, but I seemed to be fine the next day. I think I just needed to have that freak out and then I was OK.

The next morning, it was time to start the shots.

Day 1 – A.M. Meds
I woke up early to take my first two shots of the day at 7:30 a.m. First up was the Omnitrope (growth hormone for egg quality) and then after that was Menopur. (Click on the links if you want to see what the injections look like. I use the videos as a guide while doing my shots.)

The process was relatively easy, but I did have to wait a while for the Omnitrope powder to fully dissolve. I also was reminded that Menopur sometimes stings, mostly when the needle went in, as there was a drop of medicine on the outside of the needle.

The morning was good reminder, overall, that this process, though unpleasant, isn’t difficult.

Day 1 – P.M. Meds
Throughout the morning, I felt incredibly tired. I ended up taking the afternoon off to go home and rest. This wasn’t directly related to the shots, though. I’m pretty sure it was thanks to my sleepless, anxiety-filled night.

I got home around 1:30 and slept until 6 p.m. About an hour and a half later, it was time for my evening shot–Gonal F.

During our cycle last year, I still had one Gonal F pen leftover with a small amount of medicine in it. Given that I’d paid about $900 for this pen, and it was still before the expiry date, I figured I’d go ahead and use it. I even debated with myself first, thinking maybe I just start with a new pen and use the old one later–that way I only had one shot that evening. Then I just decided to bite the bullet and get it over with.

I rewatched the med-teaching video as a guide while doing the shots, and, after I’d done the injections, I realized I’d missed one key thing…

I did the injection with the pen from last year first and then the remaining dose with a new pen. After the injections were done, I finished the video and saw what I missed: After a pen has been used for an injection, it should only be stored for up to 28 days in the refrigerator.

Well, sh*t. And day one was going so well…

I immediately reached out to the pharmacy and IVF emergency nurse line. The pharmacist said it “wasn’t advisable” to use medication from that long ago, but she couldn’t tell me if it would affect the IVF cycle.

The on-call IVF nurse couldn’t tell me if there were any concerns with using older medications, but it likely wouldn’t affect my cycle too much.

“As long as it was sealed, it’s probably fine,” she said. “It might just not have as high of efficacy. We can always make up for it later in the cycle, if needed. Just keep an eye on yourself tonight to make sure you feel OK.”

Not exactly the most reassuring responses from either of them, but I didn’t have any major reactions, and I’m still breathing, so my guess is I’m OK.

At least the drama was over for the night… Oh, wait.

Think Before You Speak
The cherry on top of this already not-so-great night came a bit later.

When Nick got home, I explained, in detail, what had happened. He looked at me and said, “Can I say it?”

For some context: The “it” Nick is referring to is “Cool story, bro.” This is something he says to me regularly after I’ve shared something or told a story. And no matter how many times we’ve had the conversation about how much I hate it when he says it, he still doesn’t understand two things:

1. At best, saying it is annoying and immature.
2. At worst, saying it is rude, insensitive, and hurtful.

While #1 is usually where I land when he does this, #2 is where it landed after the evening I’d had. (Even if he didn’t actually say it… he just told me he wanted to.)

And just to dig himself into a bigger hole (because why not), he added “You just need to learn to tell better stories.”

Before he got home, I was planning to ask if he could forego playing video games for a few minutes so we could cuddle before I went to sleep–because sometimes after a traumatic day you just need a cuddle from your significant other.

After the above interaction, I wanted nothing to do with him for the rest of the night (and, to be perfectly honest, I’m still upset and hurt while writing this).

Moral of this mini story is: Think carefully about what you say to your partner while going through IVF.

It is a scary, nerve-wracking, and anxiety-inducing process–even if you’ve done it before–and saying something insensitive can be incredibly hurtful and make an already stressful day worse.

At least my second day of shots is on track to not have any issues. Here’s hoping the next few days are equally as uneventful…

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If you’d like to help us on this journey–whether through monetary donations; sharing our fundraising efforts; or sending prayers, thoughts, or good vibes–please visit our GoFundMe page or reach out to ivfthat@gmail.com.