Before we started IVF, we watched an online class the clinic sent out. It went through the whole process, from beginning to end.
I found it surprising when they said they hope to get at least one or two viable embryos after the egg retrieval process. “Surely we would get more than that!” I thought to myself.
Read more: The RegroupI also remember making a mental note when they said “If you don’t get any viable embryos after embryology, there’s a free regroup appointment with your doctor.”
I thought, “Damn right it better be free when you’re paying this much just to get there.”
It’s apparent looking back I didn’t for a second think we’d end up with nothing.
Back in our very first doctor’s appointment, Dr. G. had said the chances of success with IVF are 70%.
This was our best shot to be parents. And, seeing as how I have two adorable nephews thanks to the wonders of IVF, the procedure failing didn’t really seem possible.
The day of that free regroup appointment came around, and Nick and I had a long list of questions for the doc. What went wrong? Should we try another cycle? Is it unusual that two of our embryos had the exact same abnormality? And so on.
We learned that my egg quality wasn’t very good. Apparently, the embryologist said the eggs looked like they were falling apart even before they had been fertilized. The fact that most of them didn’t make it past day three (when the sperm is activated) meant it was an egg issue.
So now we know we have both male-factor and female-factor infertility. (Of course we do, because, as I mentioned previously, we can’t seem to catch a f****ing break.)
If we do try a second cycle, they could put me on growth hormone to improve the egg quality. They didn’t do it this cycle because they didn’t know egg quality was an issue (and they couldn’t have known until going through the process).
Side note: It seems, to me, if poor egg quality is common, and you don’t know whether a woman has it until you’ve already put her through egg retrieval and the heartbreaking process of not getting any embryos, maybe you just put women on it pre-emptively? Especially if there are no major side effects. But, I’m not a doctor, and I digress.
If the egg quality were our only issue, trying a second cycle could be a good option. Surprisingly, a lot of couples have a failed first cycle and then have success in a second or third. Don’t ask me how they pay for it, though…
But that third question: Is it unusual two of our embryos had the exact same abnormality? That could point to something bigger.
Turns out, it is unusual for two to have the exact same abnormality.
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Let me pause for one moment to provide some context for this last bit.
At the very beginning of the process, Nick and I both had to do some bloodwork. It was required by law. Other tests were recommended but not required. One was the karyotype test or a chromosomal analysis. It’s pretty expensive (about $900 for both of us to have it done).
I talked with my sister to see if she’d had the test done, and she didn’t.
It didn’t seem necessary to me, and I was trying to save money. So I waived doing the test. (One of the few examples where being a penny-pincher has come back to bite me in the ass.)
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OK, so back to where we were. Dr. G. highly recommended we get the karyotype test done to see if either Nick or I have any chromosomal abnormalities. It’s a blood test we can do through Kaiser, so we opted to do it this time.
She said adults can have chromosomal abnormalities that don’t necessarily affect their health but have serious implications for producing reproductive cells.
So it was time for more tests.
IVF That 